Amaze

 

Laying here in the dark

With my eyes staring out to you

Just bright enough from the city lights outside the window, also I suppose from the moon

Watching you as you dream

I take in your every breath

Those taupe lips with your arms curled up by your face

Resting gently one on top of the other as you sleep

Two fingers stretched out further, going against the lead of the others tucked into a soft fist

Your doughy eyelids fall shut

Every lash in tight single file, curving up slightly towards the ends

A faint scar near your corner crease, a first of probably many to come my son

The one I felt my heart sink into my gut when I first was called at work

Racing home panic stricken

With the babysitter and you on the phone, while doctors office held the other line

The way your arms reached around my back as I swept you up into my arms when I arrived home

Clinching tightly while you cried giant tears into my neck

Along with a few drops of blood that would stain my shirt

You told me it didn’t hurt anymore; I would have begged to differ

“Hold me mama,” you said

Just embracing mother and son, and you felt as good as new

Which sounds crazy but I could understand

That’s exactly how I feel when I clasp onto you

Amazing

You made it out alright of course

And so did the babysitter and I

Already almost three years ago

Becoming a distant memory

One of the many moments I will store away in the book of motherhood

I know you will continue to amaze me

Just for being you

So sleep now my sweet child

Don’t mind me while I hold you and watch

 

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