A New School Year Dawning

Today you go off to school, both of you,
Like the many times you have before
I am a working mama- so your both used to the routine
But this time feels different, it’s harder and your bigger
I suppose change is something we can’t really get used too

I cried while reading your bed time story last night
Yeah, like a lot
You both looked up at me in shock
Mamas aren’t supposed to cry
Without skipping a beat my littlest climbed high into my arms and squeezed me tightly
My little girl who will start wearing a uniform tomorrow; in her class room now out of the baby hallway
Your still young, and definitely tiny but in the older/ big-kid wing nonetheless
You’ll wear your creative movement attire for your first taste of gym class
A class I used to treasure
My son came in close and hugged me
Giving me a kiss on the cheek just before leaning back to tell me with all his 4 year old wisdom
“It’s ok mama, take a deep breath.”
Yes your right my dear, it is ok.
And together we breathed
I’ve heard of these boo-hoo mom breakfasts and such and thought they seemed a bit dramatic
Yet it was me crying the eve before school started

What has become of me
Who is this grown woman
Married with children going to preschool crying on the floor besides pink stuffed animals
I am a mother and a wife
Turns out, I’m human too

I once cried while watching “Bing-Bong” from Inside Out disappear into the lost pile of memories

I know that it’s because I don’t want this time to become that- forgotten

So much of this phase of your lives will go unnoticed in your minds

And I want any inkling of what you do remember to be amazing

Tears from the moment we met and I held you skin-to-skin on my chest

Through the speed of time to here, sitting on the hard wood floors

Preparing your backpack and you for all the things you could possibly need

Crying

It is not a flaw- though I used to think so

I’m probably just a little sensitive this week

A right of passage, maybe

The cutting of the umbilical cord -continued

I lined them up for obligatory pictures in front of the house
Josephina admired her new get up,
Loving her very own outfit just like her brother “Sal”
Salvatore proudly smiled saying “cheese & pickles” – somehow still missing the looking at the camera part
Excited to show off his new Spider-Man lunch box to all his new friends
I’ll cherish this day, the way I do all of them
A kiss and hug goodbye
And life continues on, like every day before
Though different in so many ways
Unnoticed by most of the world

 

2 Comments

  1. Kate Kyres
    August 8, 2017

    Beautiful reflection

    Reply
    • admin
      September 10, 2017

      Thank you!

      Reply

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