My eyes were glazing over by the time my head hit the pillow that Thursday evening. After getting my eager to stay awake little ones back to bed and a long/ late day at the salon, I was whipped. There’s just something about coming home from work after 8pm that makes you feel entitled to not have to be a grown-up anymore. All of my adultness was spent. Yup, I was checked out. Yet I found myself doing a quick scan through my email.
My interest peaked when I saw an email from my son’s school teacher. Happy to open and read about the newest feats from the 3 year old classroom. You can only imagine my surprise as I read through noticing the ever so nonchalantly placed sentence saying “Salvatore’s mommy will be visiting on Friday for a juggling presentation”.
I couldn’t fathom what I was reading so after another once (ok like 5 x’s) over. I jumped up from my covers and yelled for my almost sleeping husband to check his email. Surely I have some goofy mix up that did not go out to all the parents at my son’s school!?!?!?????
WTpmf (pardon my French), but JUGGLING!!!! I may be jackofmamas but a juggler, I am not.
Coincidentally the circus was in town and I thought about reaching out for some help but…
Naturally my husband checked his email and was quite amused by my upcoming act. After laughing for a bit …
Husband: just send the teacher an email and tell her the truth, you know that you can’t juggle.
Me: How did this happen?!? (Of course, I always end up in the strangest predicaments. I can’t believe this, my son probably volunteered me because I’m always telling him how many things I can juggle). Me and my big sarcastic mouth! The teacher probably has a whole little activity set up for the kids based on my “juggling presentation” the one that I can’t perform.
Silence in our bedroom as I ponder over all the options.
- Calling the circus near by for a private show (the cost would probably not amuse my husband but the kids would love it).
- Coming clean on my no-talent show escapade.
- Trying my hand at juggling- who knows maybe I could, how hard could it be???
Finally my husband calls over to me
Husband: did you email her?
Me: No. I can’t write a constructive email right now explaining that I will not be able to execute the juggling act tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM.
My husband: what are you doing then?
Me: slince again
My husband: hello… (trying not to laugh at me)
Wait please tell me your not Googling “how to juggle”?
Me: this may be my only option, I can’t let those kids down. Their probably pumped for the show. Besides, back in like 5th grade I had a juggling ball set and I could get two of them going pretty well. Their 2 years old they’ll never know the difference.
Me: (feeling wide awake now inside my extremely, almost painfully tired body) I know, I’ll have to tell the truth. Maybe I’ll just try a little when I wake up. Maybe my lost talent will come back to me, like riding a bike right?
I went to bed with an enormous amount of weight on my shoulders, while technically slippery hands. Ether way I was going to be extrodanly embarrassed with ether outcome.
Jumping out of the car for drop off one of the other moms stops in her tracks as she yells to me (in front of like 3 other mamas) “So you can juggle too?”
Me: No. No I can’t juggle, just a mix up.
Honesty with my limitations. I went with the honesty option.
Sometimes things happen in life that make us question just how far we would go to please others. This was an extremely silly and non-life changing event that helped me to wake up and reconfirm that my pleasing skills are still sharpened to a point. As much as I like to think I have grown into a person who can happily say No, it’s still hard. It’s hard for a pleaser to not be pleasing.
My whole life, as do most people and especiallly mamas, revolves around juggling many things. Being a good mom, being a good wife, being present, being engaged, being active, being responsible, being centered, being a productive adult.
My sweet little three year old son probably said “yeah my mommy says she is always juggling”! And he’s right.
So what’s the point of this post today.
Acknowledgment to all the mamas and people out there trying to make their life (and others) better. That we see you and you’re doing great.
Keep juggling, but don’t forget that it’s ok to say no sometimes.
Even if it’s just to tell someone you can’t actually juggle.