What does it feel like to make a decision to leave behind the house you’ve made your home in the face of a major storm? Intimidating.
Looking around for last minute items you need to have for a few days, packing up a few items you can’t live with out, consciously leaving behind many things you wouldn’t want too.
Today you go off to school, both of you,
Like the many times you have before
I am a working mama- so your both used to the routine
But this time feels different, it’s harder and your bigger
I hope your ready men because your annual vacation day is nearly here! That’s right it’s Father’s Day!!!!
This Sunday should be a day to remember, as we mamas are ready to you blow you away! We are prepared to let you sleep in for once! You got that right, rest. While we tend to the children- quietly as not to disturb your slumbering bliss.
Once in a while you meet people that become your friends, for a period of time. Maybe brief and the friendships fade due different circumstances, often school, job or geographical changes. Resuming acquaintances status via social media etc. but nothing much further.
Laying here in the dark
With my eyes staring out to you
Just bright enough from the city lights outside the window, also I suppose from the moon
Watching you as you dream
I take in your every breath
Look at this mess
It’s it neat
Wouldn’t you say my Restoration Hardware table’s complete?
Wouldn’t you say I’m a mama?
A mom who has everything
During our Pastor’s homely last weekend, I found myself pondering the Garden of Eden with a new interest. We all know the story well Eve was tempted by the serpent/ satin to eat from the one tree she should not. His words hitting me with the strength that she lacked as Father George recalls his own found memories from childhood.
My eyes were glazing over by the time my head hit the pillow that Thursday evening. After getting my eager to stay awake little ones back to bed and a long/ late day at the salon, I was whipped. There’s just something about coming home from work after 8pm that makes you feel entitled to not having to be a grown-up anymore. All of my adultness was spent. Yup, I was checked out. Yet I found myself doing a quick scan through my email.
January has proven to be an extremely cleansing month in our home. Fresh starts and healthy habits for the year, undoubtedly anchoring it’s teeth into our skin. They say to try something new for thirty days to make it it a habit. Without even realizing anything new and different soon won’t be. The thing or obstacle you have set to make your own will indeed quickly become routine.
I can feel your breath upon my skin
Pushing back and forth with vigor
Like a mouse sneezing with all his might
Yet reaching me as a soft tickle
She loved him
From the moment they meet she was intrigued
His long running history mystified her
She learned different things about him
Becoming versatile, adaptable to any environment
If we had gone to the moon, it wouldn’t have mattered
With our helmets on heads, plus one to spare
Your little sister and I set off to get you from school
Pressed for time, as not to be late
We whooshed around bends, over bridges, under overpasses and thorough one tunnel
Passing two high schools, three gas stations, five contraction zones, a few restaurants, a couple banks, one University and naturally a Starbucks.
To a country divided, split among two very different opinions. The very thing that our country was made of and should be grateful for. Being able to have and share different opinions. It’s called democracy, it’s what we should be proud of.
Peace fills the air and my mind as I venture out on my morning run. Today I run for me. Time with my own thoughts and aspirations. Stepping one foot in front of the other, for about two miles on the island with a last name. Just running and listening to the sound of my own breath.
Some days you feel like a super hero with your cape waving behind you in the wind. While others, your cape is stuck in the door. Yesterday I was victorious! I hopped in the car to see a shiny little yellow light blinking back at me, with a heavy heart I told my kids (that were just packed up for morning adventures) that we would need to take a detour over to the car repair shop.
Let the planning begin, and thankfully also now come to an end! With many thanks to Pinterest, I have been planning my daughter’s first birthday party since before she was even born. Not actual logistical details or anything crazy but fabulous ideas and inspirations fill one of my many boards titled “party planning”. Yes maybe a little crazy, but how can I resist when I have such temptresses floating around, usually on my cell phone screen, waiting to be plucked like a ripened apple at its peak. I give you… the wONEderland tea party.
I’m having a bit of baby driven focus on my blog lately. Maybe it’s that my sweet little girl just reached her very first birthday! Hold the tears… but I seriously can’t believe how fast this past year has gone. So in honor of my daughter’s new found stage of independence, we are coincidently entering separation anxiety. Which I’m finding I’m having a bit of my own as well.
The eve before you were born
We danced around outside
To the light of a Super Harvest Moon
After a rare total lunar eclipse
Twirling around your brother, father and I
“You breastfeed, you don’t look like you would?” “Oh, yes, yes I do. Obviously my largely endowed top has fooled you. I know I don’t look a whole lot different from the front to the back, but yes I am indeed a nursing mama”.
I wake early this morning
There’s a lot to be done
Peaking into your bedroom
My heart flutters
As your beats calmly, while you are fast asleep
I rush downstairs for coffee
To begin this big day
Going over the list of tasks
Where art thee
Oh Lu La Roe
I could wear you daily
I love you so
The way your fabric stretches and fits
To pair with my T-shirts, sweaters or tunics
Mama- age : old enough for Botox
Today was hectic. I feel like I’m losing as a mother. Constantly redirecting, be more genial, don’t stand on the couch, inside voice, don’t walk around with food , give the toy back. I’m like a walking megaphone of discipline.
Splishing and splashing
In the not so bubbly bath
Bubbles are really overrated
Any doctor will tell you
Pour just a little soap
To keep them fresh and so clean
Warm water begins to cover their heals
Then their toes
I have a pet lion, his name is Tiger
He likes to go everywhere with me
Especially in the car
Tiger waits for the back door to open
Go ahead Tiger, get in
Happily, he sits down in the backseat, just as he’s telling a joke
So it turns out, I found it. I found the spring that was indeed in my step, the more “summer like” outfit I was hoping for. I fell fast in love with this romantically, whimsical floral skirt by Free People as soon as I spotted it hanging on the rack at Nordstrom. I loved the colors, high waist and especially the tiny Victorian style buttons going down the center.
The day had arrived that we had been waiting for
Your eyelet satin gown
Worn first by me, many years ago
Hanging delectably over your plush soft skin
Just on top of that simple cotton slip
Long ago and far away, in a previous month or ten. Ok not that far back but it feels like forever ago I started to switch up my salon studio offering out even my “before” pictures and blog post. Well as it turns out, it took a little longer than planned to finish up. Not for any one reason specifically, more of a collaboration of untied ends.
You have a Son they exclaimed
As he was placed on my chest
All squishy and wet, as he cried
Then settling down for a rest
Happy Birthday Baby
And Happy Birthday Mommy
Walking through the wooden door on the left, we are greeted with a friendly smile. I was big and pregnant expecting our first child. The painted animals across the walls give me a familiar feeling. I was never your client as a child, like the many others throughout this great city, but I’d been here before, just not for this. My husband was your patient, along with many other Tampa natives since birth and was still clinging on to you when we started dating.
You walked me into the doctor’s
Your nervousness was hard to hide
And when you first heard the heart beat
I saw a tear run out your eye
All the appointments
The prepping and planning that came
You stayed by my side
While keeping me sane
Then the day finally arrived
That had we had been waiting for
We laid eyes on our sweet little baby
And we were filled with love down to our core
The darkness fails lightly around me at first
Unwelcome, settling into my skin
Everything near and dear to me feels somehow distant
It creeps in slowly, shutting down one corridor at a time
The levels of my despair feel cold and lonely
My blow dryer broke today
Not before I started, or even at the end
It broke in the middle
Half of the hairs on my head are smooth and dry
While the others still drip
Our dog is a very specific rare breed here in the United States. Less then 200 here on American ground. They are heavily populated over in Sicily where they are from, running around all over the fairly small island off the coast of Italy’s mainland. The breed is called Cirneco dell’Etna. Chestnut colored short hairs coat their body with long lean muscles slightly bulging from underneath.
Pulling up to the run down lot
I back-in carefully
I want to savior this last sip of coffee and take in any possible bursts of energy that it could provide
Also because of the sketchy neighborhood I’m in, being able to pull out fast if I need to escape
So once again, we have family pictures coming. What is it about taking professional family photos that leaves me with the desire to check off a million different boxes. I find myself searching through catalogs, Pinterest and actual stores looking for the perfect feeling. After all, a picture is all about trying to freeze the feelings we have attached to the moments.
Something New Baby
You woke up today and I barely recognized your face
I know that smile pushing up on your checks
Along with the giggles slipping out of your mouth
Gurgling through your babble
I was sitting in a lovely new mom’s group one afternoon while the topic of letting things go came up. I have met some of my favorite girlfriends inside these groups, so I hope they will find the humor to this silly topic of mine, again. Taking notes on how to be comfortable and happy with the tasks we do accomplish in the day and the fact that we are not able to get as much done as we used to be able to do.
Welcome to Motherhood
Where the days are long but the toddlers run fast
Or maybe it’s the years that go fast
Ether way, both seem to slip right through your fingers
Where we like our coffee strong, complementing it with another cup
Cheering loudly for peeing on the potty
Especially if their pants were pulled down
Short curly hairs standing upon your head, thickest they’ve ever been
Gleaming in brilliant tones of silver
Looking at the strength behind your eyes
It’s ok, it’s ok
Your safe now, Mommy’s here
I scoop you up and draw you close
It’s just a storm, it moved in while you were sleeping
Clinging on tightly
I kiss away your little salty tears
In a world full of color, I have gravitated to them all today. All of the many bright colors on the spectrum in one large boldly printed frock. This get up is a little more than loud with its oversized florals. A piece that screams attention and is most risky because of it nature in size. A full out jumpsuit.
I still have to fill up my tank of gas before we hit the road. I think this to myself while my friend was getting into the car. I’d hate to run out parked at the big house.
It’s been almost seven years since I moved into my big corner office. Ok so it’s really a studio inside a salon. After working my way up the pole, I was upgraded with more square footage, high ceilings, a private shampoo sink, giant windows, and a private entrance and patio.
The other night I had a dream that I was doing an old fashioned finger wave on a little red-headed woman. In the dream, it was a true wet finger wave complete with high ridge formations. A technique from back in hair school (hair school which was nearly fifteen years ago, a random blast from the past in dream land).
The chiming faint alarm goes off to my right. It’s 3:45am, the first alarm of the morning. I quickly tap snooze and rest my eyes till the next one goes off. 3:50am, the light little bells repeat the same melody as before, this time I get up. Heading carefully through the darkened room, straight to my closet where I have so carefully organized two bins to grab my workout clothes.
I was good at listening, redirecting, providing engaging learning opportunities and showering my children with love. Today my house is a mess. The laundry is not done. The floors went untouched and the clean dishes in the dishwasher still need to be put away. We even cheated once stealing a sippy cup right out of the dishwasher not touching anything else that sat inside. The clean dishes all gleamed with almost a smile as I opened the door but I was lazy or better yet I was busy playing pirates with my son while my daughter rolled all around.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’ve heard this many times over the years and I do believe it to be true. I sometimes struggle with everything happening for a reason, but I accept it to be God’s will and that we are a part of a bigger plan. He gave us freedom of choice and so enters the grey area where things can get complicated. There aren’t many things I wish I could do again but I struggle with a few situations I wish I could have done differently. Regret is hard.
Laying here in the stillness, of a peaceful weekend nap about to begin.
My heart is so full, my mind at such ease. Looking down to my left my usually wiggling two and a half year old little boy is finally settling down.
I’m so excited for Saturday night, we have a babysitter and we are going out. We’re headed to a marriage celebratory shower, followed by a late night art show. We usually don’t have two events in the same night but my husband purchased the tickets prior to realizing our other commitment. Looking forward to each outing, we decided to make them both work. I’m mostly pumped because I get to wear my favorite rose gold sequined pants! Second time matter of fact, different groups of people.
From the beginning of time we’ve been told how important it is to eat healthy.
We have food pyramids, diagrams and all sorts of information to keep our vitals up and functioning at their best. However getting the correct and most useful report can create quite a challenge.
I am no fashion guru.
I have little to no background in the whole fashion world at all. I am from New York, but it’s a big state and we don’t need to be specific regarding the region. However, as a child I used to enjoy coloring, like many little ones do. One Christmas I received a fashion designer coloring kit. I loved that kit so much. I found that all my drawings had quickly turned into left, right or center faced mannequin bodies assembled in many different articles of clothing. So it was decided, I was to be a fashion designer.
I’ve waited all week to see her. I couldn’t wait to hear all the gory details of her newest feat, a 50 mile ultra marathon trail run. Dana waits among the others for the Saturday morning running loop. Nonchalantly adjusting her headband and fleece. It’s a brisk 46 degrees this morning which means it is the heart of winter for us Tampanians.
This piece is meant to give an inside look at the challenges that come along with depression and/or mental health issues. All parties have read and approved this actual account, only names etc. have been changed or are exempt for privacy. Please be advised.
woke up naturally Thursday morning after snoozing through my early, early alarm, to see that the sky was still dark through my bedroom windows. Oh goodie, I can still get in a run.
One of the sweetest ladies I may have ever met, explains openly in the lobby of our salon, how she gets “Zings” from Jesus.
There is a cool tool that sits patiently waiting on shelves in the cosmetic departments all over America. The fine boutique establishments commonly known as Target, Whole Foods or Bed, Bath and Beyond, have a secret weapon just waiting for the world to grasp onto.
It’s been another long day, I think to myself. While climbing the stairs with at least one child in my arms, glass of water in hand, cell phone slipped in bra and a small basket of clothes.
I’ve been told for years that I am never short for words, long winded, would do well in radio or that I plainly, yes, talk a lot. I forget to put in periods, as I seem to prefer commas and run-on-sentences. My husband has a little game he likes to play with me to “get to the point” as he says. It’s called “three sentences or less”.